Perfection?

Ladies and Gentlemen,

I would just like to take this time to apologize for not posting anything for way too long. Lets just say I was on sebaticle... I wasnt, but that sounds better.

Anyways, over the last couple of weeks I have been thinking about this idea of perfect and I wanted to share my thoughts with you. I hope you enjoy.

Perfection?

Are we ever perfect? Were we ever designed to be perfect? Or were we just designed to know that we aren’t perfect? If we were perfect then we would not need God because we wouldn’t need saving. But we cannot exist without a God. And if we cannot exist without a God does that mean we have to be imperfect to exist with a God? And does that mean that we are not perfect and can never become perfect until we die and meet Christ? Because perfect people do not need anything to fill the cracks in their life. A perfect circle needs no extra work done to make it perfect. An imperfect circle, however, needs the work of the one who knows perfect to come and work on that circle. Without those imperfects can we ever truly experience the work of the One who knows perfect? Because when we are perfect there is no room for God to come in. Is it true that only broken people can be saved? And if so, will be ever become unbroken in this life? Because if we do then we become unsaveable, right? Is this just a catch-22 that God didn’t see coming? Probably not. So is this the reason why we will never be perfect? Maybe. Or is there something bigger that I am just missing? Also maybe. Going on that for a few sentences, what if we could become perfect? Do you think it’s possible in this life? Jesus was perfect but I don’t think that counts. Does the washing of our slates when Jesus forgives our sins mean that we are perfect? Or does it mean that our life debt has been paid for us? Are those two things the same thing? I don’t think so. I think to have a debt paid means that you are forgiven, but you aren’t perfect. Because you will still sin again and have another debt to pay, another debt that has to be forgiven. Or, and hear me out for this one, as Jesus forgives our debts, wipes our slate clean, are we, for that moment, perfect? For those few seconds have we reached what people have been striving for since the very beginning? Have we reached perfection? Even for those few seconds, minutes, or hours before we sin again, have we obtained perfection through Jesus Christ? Because if so that is momentous. If for those few minutes we have attained perfection then that is huge. We need to blog about it or something. That means that, throughout history, people have reached perfection. Dude!, you need to tweet this. This is huge.

Or does perfection really exist outside of God himself? Was perfection as we know it just an idea handed down to us? Because do we really know what perfection is? I know that Jesus was perfect, some people may disagree but for the sake of argument, I’m not even gonna go there cause that could open a whole new can of worms. So we kinda have an example of perfect. But do we really? Is the concept of perfection like the concept of sophistication? Sophistication only exists because we’ve said it enough times and we believe it now. Sophistication is a word used to describe one way of doing things and to make it seem like that way is superior to other ways. When you say something like “He is more sophisticated than his friend” what you are really saying is that the friend is improper and probably sloppy. People have used the word sophistication to describe the class system, i.e. the upper class is more sophisticated than the lower class. And then in that we have come to view sophistication as something that makes someone superior to someone else. But that word was created by us, and we said it enough times and used enough examples that we kinda know what it means, but if we think about it, it’s just a meaningless word. Why does the upper class have more sophistication than the lower class? Who says the poor people aren’t sophisticated and the upper class aren’t? Have you ever thought of those questions? The first definition of sophistication that the Merriam Webster dictionary uses is: the use of sophistry: sophistic reasoning (which, by the way, is stupid. I hate it when dictionary’s do that). The second definition is: the process or result of becoming cultured, knowledgeable, or disillusioned. This is, in itself, useless. Because culture is not a word that you can really describe. How do you define knowledgeable? And disillusioned? How can one say the other is disillusioned? What if the person stating that claim is disillusioned and the other is actually not?

Perfection may be the same way. Perfection may just be an idea that we have created, said over and over again to make ourselves believe that it’s real. Because how do we even define perfection. And if it’s not definable can we reach it? How can we strive for something that doesn’t exist? Was Jesus perfect? Or was he just whole? Cause I don’t know if those two things are necessarily the same. Is this perfection just an idea? Let’s try and take it one step at a time. Let’s say somebody obtains perfection. They are just great. Everybody wants to be them. And I would definitely say that this person has friends, right? Now let’s take someone who isn’t perfect, far from it in fact. That person isn’t all that great. They are broken, maybe lost. But in this, they have found something. They have touched on something greater. Because it is through trails and imperfections that great friendships are made, that great thoughts are thought, and that great things happen. That “perfect” human being would never go through that because he/she is perfect.  They wouldn’t fight unjustly, they wouldn’t get angry unjustly, they wouldn’t etc., etc., etc. So is that perfect? It doesn’t sound perfect. Or is that just a shallow perfect? Do you have to be broken to become a deeper perfect? (I’m starting to see a flaw in our idea here.) Since when was broken perfect?

I think we deviated off course. Personally, I don’t think we were ever intended to be perfect. I don’t even know if perfect exists. I think Jesus was whole. But the perfect thing I just think we made up because having something to strive towards is a lot safer than being down here, broken and lost. I think perfect was never meant to exist. And I think it only exists because we’ve said it enough times. I think we are screwed up people, and if we are gonna get anywhere then we need to recognize that. Perfect doesn’t work because nothing can be added to that to improve on it. A jigsaw puzzle only works because each piece needs another piece to attach onto in to make it more complete. We work the same way. I believe that, if anything fits the description of perfect its Jesus. But that whole idea of perfect I think needs to be revisited. We destroy ourselves trying to obtain perfection, and sometimes end up destroying others in the process as well. Or, if perfect does exist, which is possible, we have to bring our idea of it back to the drawing board and seriously reconsider what it means.

Because if perfect doesn’t exist, can imperfect exist?

I don’t know. Those are just my thoughts.

By the way, these are thoughts. I don’t necessarily believe all that I say here. I try to ask questions from all sides to get an understanding. I think that is much better than finding a definite answer for questions like these. Because, most of the time, there is no definite answer… but that’s a whole other issue. Maybe I’ll blog about that next.

And life starts again

“I’m struggling. I’m not used to this kind of life. I need to be back on the road. I need to do something. Like actually do something. I need to keep busy. And I’m not busy. I’m not traveling. That’s why I’m struggling so much. There is no structure. And I can work with that some of the time. But I’m not actually doing anything.”

                That was the thought (or thoughts) for the first few days after I got back. I’ve been back almost two weeks and it’s gotten easier since then but it’s still a struggle at times. Uganda seems like ages ago and I’m constantly reminding myself that I’ve only been back a week. Not many people actually care about Uganda. “I haven’t seen you in soooooo long. Have you grown taller?” is about the extent of conversation on the last eight months of my life. Sometimes it even gets to “Hey how’s Uganda?” but that’s about it most of the time. And you know what? Whatever, that’s fine. I understand that what I’ve done for the last eight months doesn’t actually play into anyone else’s life here and that’s cool, it shouldn’t. But at least a little conversation about it. I want to know how my friends are doing and how their lives have been but I also want them to know how my life has been.

This is how it is coming back. They all warned me that it would be like this. But that never meant that it would be easier because of it. And it’s not like something that you can prepare for. You just have to let it come, move through it, and come out the other side. So that is kinda where I am right now. I’m walking through it (at least I think I am), and I’m told that it takes a while to come out the other side. Sometimes that’s weeks, sometimes months. And I don’t even know if you ever do actually come out the other side. Or if you just get used to being in it and learning how to work in it. Because let’s be honest, Uganda will never go away. My experience in Uganda will never just not happen. So how do you come out from that? Can you even come out from that? Or is it just what I said earlier? Is it learning to live in that and learning to thrive in that? And, most importantly, learning to thrive with people who are out of that? Because being out of that isn’t a bad thing. Everybody has done something that nobody else has done. Everybody has their own lives so maybe it’s just learning to live with that. I don’t know. I think right now I’m just rambling. Give me a break, it’s weird being back.

I think this is where I will close for now. Otherwise I’m just gonna keep talking and it’s going to make less and less sense.

Until next time.

Its weird being back

Ladies and Gentlemen,

On the 4th of April I arrived back from six months in Uganda. I wrote this a couple of days after being back. I hope that it helps to give a small insight into what it is like when you have done something like a gap year and what it feels like to come back. its difficult to understand and hard to put into words but I tried. Enjoy.

It's Weird

It’s weird. Being back in Britain. It almost felt like Uganda was home. I mean, it was home for a while. It felt normal. Now that I’m back it feels weird. And everyone is asking questions and wants to know what it’s like but I know that I can explain for hours and never be able to fully show them what it was like. Nobody else will experience the same stuff as I have. And I know that’s the same for everybody, no matter where you live and how you go about your lives, but, for example, it’s just so tough to share the experience of living in a Ugandan village and know that not many people really know what that feels like. And I’m not saying I really know what it feels like because I was only there for a week. I only know a slight bit about how it feels. But even that is so unbelievable and I want to share how it feels but I just can’t. And I can’t even relate to the Ugandans that I was with in the village because they have been doing this their whole lives. I’m just kinda somewhere in the middle. But to be honest I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I love the experiences that I’ve had. I love how my time in Uganda went. But it’s just kinda tough, kinda weird. It is genuinely like transitioning from one world to another and it’s just weird. Where are all the Boda Boda’s flying past and all the taxi’s pulling over to see if you want to be picked up and taken somewhere? Where is all the bargaining on prices? Don’t get me wrong, I love Britain. Its home. Though everywhere where I have a bed to sleep in is really home for me. And I love living in California. It’s just so odd to be back. For years I knew I was going to go on a gap year. It was always looking towards the end of high school. It was always looking towards where I was going to go on my gap year. And then it arrived, I landed in Entebbe, Uganda. I now it’s gone. Where did it go? I wonder where the time went. But then I look back and think how long it feels since I’ve left. I think of all that I’ve done in only six months.

This looks unfinished. and maybe it is. But I guess there is no finish to being back. cause you're back. not for a time span, you're just back. So that is it. My thoughts, poured onto the page. I hope this gives some insight and I also hope it helps everyone else that has done something like I did and who feels similar. I don't know how it will help but I hope it does.

Until next time.

Knowing that we may not know

Ladies and Gentlemen,

I wonder what would happen if, instead of talking as if we knew everything we were talking about, we started talking as if we didn’t. Instead of saying “this is correct” we say “this is correct according to (fill in the blank)” or “Personally, I think this is correct.” It would absolutely revolutionize the way we communicate and the way we think. Not because we suddenly become indecisive but because we force ourselves to open up our minds to other ways of thinking and we suddenly come to the realization that, oh wait, there are other ideas and other ways of doing things. Now, if you’re a lawyer, then ignore what I’m saying, because you’d make a horrible lawyer if you talked like this (maybe) but for the rest of us, I feel like this is something that we need to take on board. Let me give you a couple scenarios.

Scenario A:

                “Oh hey Bob, whatcha doing?”

                “Oh nothing much Harry, just trying to open this soda bottle.”

                “Use the edge of a table. That’s the correct way of doing it.”

                “No it’s not. This is the correct way. It’s just not working.”

                “You’re dumb and that doesn’t make sense. My way is the correct way.”

                “No it’s not. Go away. I don’t want bothering me.”

Scenario B:

“Oh hey Bob, whatcha doing?”

                “Oh nothing much Harry, just trying to open this soda bottle.”

                “Use the edge of a table. One of my friends told me that it works.”

                “I could try that. This way for sure isn’t working. (Sound of a bottle opening) Wow your friend is right. This does work. I’m glad I listened to you and that I wasn’t stuck too rigidly in my own ways to consider other ideas.”

See what I’m saying. (Alright I know it’s a horrible example but that’s not the point). The point is that we often get too stuck in our own ways to consider that other people may be right and that the facts that we “know” may be incorrect, or at least partially incorrect. We need to start talking like we don’t fully know what we are talking about and we need to start leaving room for other ideas that may actually be correct. Of course we can’t just accept any idea as true, that would be ridiculous, but we need to at least consider them. If we were all too stuck in our ways then the world would still be flat, no European would have sailed to America, and I wouldn’t be writing this blog. (Though the first two examples are probably more important).

We thrive on “concrete” knowledge. We need to know (or we think we need to know) that what we know is right and we do not like it any other way. I don’t know if you’ve realized this but young people think adults are ignorant and that they don’t know anything and adults think young people are ignorant and that they don’t know anything. And the thing is that both of them pull from reasons that contradict each other’s reasons. If we young people can realize that adults do know a lot and that we can learn from them and if adults can realize that we young people do actually know a lot and that we have a lot of potential then the impact will be huge. We would actually learn from history, not make mistakes, and the world may actually become a better place. Have you ever had a conversation with someone who is adamant that they are right? Kinda annoying isn’t it. You always seem to end up walking away stressed out and angry. Now have you ever had a conversation with someone who thinks they are right but who is willing to consider other ideas? Isn’t it so much more rewarding? You don’t walk away stressed. You don’t end up not liking the person. And you may actually learn something from the conversation. It’s kinda a cool thought. But I don’t know. That’s just my opinion.

Until next time.

Bombardment

Ladies and Gentlemen,

                So we’ve gone out for a nice meal as a family. We go to this restaurant with the most amazing view of the lake and we are just sitting there soaking it all in. we order the food while its still light but because most of the restaurants here take quite a while to serve it ends up being dark by the time we get the food. No problem. The food is delicious. I had rib with garlic naan bread (heavenly) most of us had rib or something like it. (Ok backstory. There are these things called Lake Flies that live here and let’s just say that they can be quite numerous. They have bodies like any other flying insect and their tails (I know that’s not scientific language but go with it) look like that of larvae. Oh, and did I mention we were close to the lake…) well as we are having our nice dinner we just start getting bombarded by these Lake Flies. Quite interesting, or gross, depending on your terminology. And the trouble with rib is that it comes in that sticky, though delicious, sauce… yeah. So we’re being hit by these Lake Flies and randomly one will land on your plate and stick and its tail will just start wiggling (too much? Sorry). It wasn’t too bad though. The meal was delicious. And it was kinda fun cause you’re always jumping whenever one hits you in the back of the head. It made it an experience.

The animals (and bugs) here are crazy. I don’t know if I mentioned earlier in another blog but there are blue bees here. And spiders, and snakes, and really cool animals as well. Right now, as I’m sitting writing this, I am looking and there are swallows (a wild guess. I have no idea what bird) flying around, sometimes a couple feet above me building their nests. There are also a mass of other birds that we see throughout the day. If you are a bird watcher you should come to Uganda. If you are not a bird watcher you should also come to Uganda. (I put that last part in there because I didn’t want to isolate all the non-bird watchers… which includes me. I just think they can be cool. I have yet to see the Crested Crane, Uganda’s national bird, but still. There are many other bird types. I’m sorry. I’m going off on a tangent aren’t I?)

Well I’m afraid that I’m running out of ideas on what to say. I’m afraid that I may be having writers block (or is it bloc… no that doesn’t look right). So much has happened. Working with kids, teaching music and P.E, getting involved in debate, playing a lot of football (awesome!... that’s real football. Not American football), going to a jazz club (that’s right), and many other things. I just can’t seem to be able to write about them. It’s a shame really. Oh well. Tomorrow I’m gonna go and play music with a group of guys here (us hipsters call it a jam session. Just kidding about the hipster part) so there may be a story in that. Who knows? Not me.

I guess that’s it.

Until next time.

Posting from Entebbe

Ladies and Gentlemen,

Much apologies for taking all this time to update my blog. I’ve been mildly busy getting into the swing of life here in Entebbe. Life here is quite different to Mbale. Equally great, but quite different. I am currently sitting in the living room with six other people (including a 2 month old baby) watching NBA being played on the Xbox by Luke, the thirteen year old. Actually I’m not watching. Neither is anyone else really. But it’s still being played on the Xbox by Luke.

When I first arrived here I came in and there were bags everywhere. All of these bags were full of clothes for the children living here on Cherish grounds. So the first day we all sorted these clothes (which took a blinking long time) and then, throughout the weeks, and still next week, we gave the clothes out to the kids. This was so much fun. And so funny at times too. We would let the kids try on each of the clothes that they got and then they would go up to the mirror to see how they looked. Well some of the little kids would put on the clothes and then walk straight up to the mirror, standing literally one or two inches away from the mirror, and just look at themselves. Priceless.

Life here is very different for many reasons. First, it’s a different part of the country. Second, I’m living on site at the place where I work, so no commuting. And third, because I am staying with an Mzungu family here. (Which is, itself, really hilarious, and really cool). So basically, I am staying with a family from America. They are seven now. Five mzungus, a son who was adopted from Ethiopia, and a daughter who was just adopted last week!!!!!!!!!! She is two months old and a gorgeous baby. Only six of them live here though. One is back in America. But along with this family, there are also two other Americans who are here to teach two of their sons. This makes for a hilarious mix of people. We have a Brit (that’s me), a guy from Texas (the guy coming to teach), a girl from California (also coming to teach), and a guy from American but who lives in Africa. And that’s only four of us. It’s quite a mix of cultures we have here. I wish there were more Brits though. I’m kinda stranded out here by myself.

Well I’m afraid that’s it for now. School starts tomorrow (meaning my work starts tomorrow) and I’ll probably have some stories to share with you the next time I blog (I wanna say next week but I have a horrible track record with blogging so I’m not gonna say that). See you then.

                                                                                                             

Until next time.

Goodbye Mbale

Hello again Ladies and Gentlemen,

So my time here in Mbale is coming to a close and I must say that it feels strange to know that in less than a week I will be leaving here. This place has come to feel like home for me and it will definitely be weird to leave it. But such is life (a phrase used by my father), before coming here I knew that this was the plan and I knew it would happen. I must say though that it has come quite quicker than expected. I remember the first weeks thinking how far away now seemed. But its almost here. On the 15^th of this month I will leave Mbale and embark on the next leg of my journey; a journey that has taken me here and will now take me to Entebbe, then to Britain, and then back to Los Angeles, the port from which I departed.  I will be very sad to leave this place but I’m not going to lie and say that there isn’t also an excitement for what lays ahead. I feel that there should always be an excitement for the road ahead because we never know what it holds. Cherish Uganda (the organization that I am going to in Entebbe) will be another big adventure and will hold another set of experiences that I will be able to take with me and learn from. But enough about what is yet to come. I’m still here and will be here until Sunday the 15^th.

                Kenya. Kenya was cool. I think I mentioned to you in my last post that I was going to go to Kenya. Well I went… and came back (obviously). Kenya was really cool. It was very much a relaxing trip. We left in the morning, got on an overly crowded taxi van (the type where you literally cannot move during the trip), went to the border, crossed over with no fuss (after getting a visa of course), and then got back on the taxi van (though this time it wasn’t so bad because I was sitting in the front). The whole journey would have taken us about 4 hours, maybe less, in total in a private car. With the taxi van, it took us I think 8+ hours. When we arrived there was another Mzungu there who was also on a gap year doing a similar sort of thing that I’m doing and we hung out for most of the journey. He was working with the people who we were staying with so we all moved around together.  We then stayed in Kenya, in two different places, for two full days and left in the Friday morning (we arrived on Tuesday). Actually I left on the Friday. Nelson and Agnes had to leave early because one of Nelson’s Aunts had passed away (May she rest in peace) and they needed to go for burial. It was a tough time those couple of weeks. There were a couple of deaths and some people were sick. So they left early for that and I came back with one of the people from Kenya. When we were passing through we had some trouble at the border but it all ended up being sorted out and I arrived back at Nelson and Agnes’ house. Then the next day it was New Year’s Eve. The thing was, Nelson and Agnes were still at the village for burial and they arrived back at around 8 pm New Year’s Eve, knackered, as you can imagine. But, in true New Year’s spirit, we stayed up and went to Mbale stadium where we celebrated the New Year by praying and worshiping with many others who packed the stadium. Goodbye 2011, bring on 2012.

                So this doesn’t really fit anywhere into this blog but I decided to put it here (partly because I couldn’t think of anything to put here). So we were doing some gardening today and in the plot where we planted the cassava there is a mole rat eating all the cassava. Blinking mole rat. Well anyway, so we spend a chunk of time today hunting this mole rat (by we I mean John, the gardener, I was just kinda moral support. Though I tried once but to no avail.) Sadly we didn’t catch it. what was interesting to know though is that apparently some people eat them, and apparently they’re delicious… who knew? They say they taste like pork. Today we also chopped down some of the leaves on the banana trees. Which isn’t a funny story until you put in the fact that some of these banana trees had wasps around them so sometimes we would cut the leaf and then quickly run away, come back, cut the another leaf, and run away again. That makes it kinda a funny story.

                So I’m afraid that is it for this blog. Next time I see you I will be in Entebbe working with Cherish Uganda. I’m definitely going to miss this place. It’s been a good time and I am very grateful for the fact that I have been able to live here for these three months. But, as everything has an ending, so does this. Bring on the next adventure.

Until next time